No Really, We Need More Fear in Our Lives

When there is snow, there is the chance for sledding. Well, I learned something about fear – or maybe the better word here is exhilaration from our most recent sledding experience several days ago.

Here’s the story: we live near a good hill for sledding. The first time it snowed this season, the girls and I had our fun on this hill.  But, during a drive through town I noticed a really big hill–probably 75 feet and angled down at 45 degrees–that was just begging for some snow and a few adventurous sledders. So while the rest of the town was staying in their homes on a snow day, the girls and I piled in the car with our sled and headed over.

I have to admit, as we parked and got out our two sleds–one of which is an old dumpster lid given to us by a neighbor--I was a little scared. We began on the shorter and less steep parts of the hill and before long I had moved to the steepest portion. After loaning the dumpster top to two female college students and watching them scream in excitement as they sped to the bottom of the hill, I knew it was time to coax my 10 year old to the top of the hill to sled down with me.

This is what I learned, fear is a precursor to the exhilaration in our lives. Without the fear, there would simply be a baseline of ho-humness and the joy that came from the experience would be measured against that ho-humness. But when joy is measured against the fear that proceeded it, we can experience exhilaration. All it takes is a little courage, or persistence, or faith to get us through to the good side of fear.

So my point? Let’s make an effort to value the fear in our lives.  And while we are at it, let’s consider what’s on the good side of disappointment, anger, jealousy, and even hate. Maybe, just maybe, they are precursors that allow us to experience and appreciate the gratitude, peace, contentment, and love in our lives. Maybe, just maybe, all we need is a little courage, or persistence, or faith to get us there.

And by the way, while my daughter did go down the hill with me, she “chickened-out” at the last moment before going down herself. I tell you this, sitting with this fear will only make going down that hill the next time it snows that much sweeter!

Take as much time as you need Ellie!

Stop Giving, Start Gifting

Good bye holiday season, hello birthday season!

In our house, birthdays come in a rush. While most families turn the corner back to “normal life” on January 1, our family is just hitting its stride. Cash, the 55 lb Shepard Heeler mix starts the party on Jan 1, followed by Josie and Jenn who have back to back birthdays just two weeks later. Then Ellie starts counting down the 25 days until her birthday. It all concludes on Valentine’s Day with Aaron. Seriously. That’s right, if you throw Christmas in the mix, all 6 of our major gift giving holidays occur in a 55 day span at the PeeksMease house.

When done right, gifts symbolize a celebration a person, they demonstrate the gratitude of the giver, they prompt gratitude in the receiver, and the exchange is generally an experience of joy. Spoiler alert: I don’t always do it right.

But what about the other kind of gift, the kind that anthropologist Margaret Mead was speaking of when she suggested that the ideal culture is one in which there is a place for every human gift. Are these still a celebration of a person and and experience of joy and gratitude? Is yours?

Early in our relationship Aaron declared to me that teaching is “one of his gifts.” His clarity and commitment to his gift had a gravity to it, it drew me to him. So I asked him about that for this post:

Aaron: I’m good at teaching. Some might say that a gift is something you are good at, maybe naturally and/or through practice. To be honest, what it feels like to me is that I am simply in my element and I leave feeling recharged after teaching. I could lecture for over three hours and not think anything of it. A small or large class, any topic, regardless of what life is throwing at me, the classroom is my sanctuary.

OK, he has a point here. Yet sometimes in the midst of balancing all of the things I love–work, marriage, kids, and (when I really manage things well) friends–the joy and the gratitude gets buried under the weight of obligation. It is possible to give too much. Sometimes, I end up depleted with nothing left. But I think there is something to knowing and growing our own “gifts.”

Aaron: Often times we think of gifts as something given to others, but I have realized that giving of our “gifts” positively impacts ourselves as well. Much like the feeling you get from seeing the smile on another’s face when they open a thoughtful gift from you. Sharing our “gifts” with others is not only about what they receive but what we receive in return.

There is certainly a time a place for giving more in our lives.  But I think a great good would come from taking time to appreciate and celebrate the gifts we already give to the world. Not that any one of us is God’s gift to teaching, or marriage, or parenting, or work, but our gifts are just that: gifts. I suspect if we really cherished them as gifts–of listening, of teaching, of laughter, of writing, of patience, of humor, of (**insert your gift here**)– we could reawaken the gratitude and joy of sharing our gifts our selves in our everyday lives.